It's Thanksgiving and a hard one!

So G and I have spent the past month devoting our life to IVF. It seemed like everything was going great-Retrevial went well 26 eggs-and 16 became fertile. Well, we had decided to do blastocyst-doc thought that would be our best result. Went in Nov 17th and he was so excited to tell us that 1 was the cream of the crop. We decided to only implant one. Transfer was crazy. Had to go in with a full bladder! Do you know how bad it is not to go to the bathroom and then they tell you to put the gown on and lay on the table with your legs hanging over this table!! What? Transfer seemed to go well! Well yesterday I started having period cramps, spotting, and then today I am pretty sure I have started. Call doc-nurse called and said we still had to wait until Mon 30th for results. She said" Could be bad/Could be good? Really? So last night was really bad. Cried like I have never cried before. Felt pain and emotions that hurt my heart so bad! I was angry, mad @ God-what have I done that is so bad that G & I don't deserve a baby? I cant tell you how bad I want a baby. G was gone to Cali this week to duck hunt with his dad, brother and high-school buddies, so I had to call and tell him that it didn't look good for the 1st ivf treatment. Poor G was so upset. He has been calling and asking: Are you sick yet?, How are you feeling? He wants a baby just as much as I do. I still have to go in Mon for the test-trying to prepare my self for the call that says-sorry it is negative this time. It hurts just to write it.

Pieces are finally coming together

Many people don't know that Grant & I have been going thru invtro for the past month. It has been a lot of work..needles, medication, planning. Very hard. Today was my last day of shots! Yipee!! Shots in the belly have begin to hurt and so have the thigh shots..Yes, can you imagine that! Very painfull. Plus traveling to Tallahasee 3x this week for an ultrasound & bloodwork. Went to Jacksonville for appt yesterday and dr said everything looks great!!! Praise God! Thursday is Egg Retrevial Day!! Yike